There once was a girl who had a life-long dream. She wanted to be known as an internet meme In the world wide web on social media With a special entry in wikipedia. No luck! In frustration she could do nothing but scream.
There once was a young man from the Cape Who worked very hard to stay in shape. He kept in perpetual motion Running from ocean to ocean Ending after 56 k at the finishing tape.
There once was a goat who was fond of her feet. When she got mucky and dirty she’d loudly bleat. She hoped for help to get them clean. The resident fleas were exceptionally keen. They considered sucking her hooves a particular treat.
There once was a young man from Dundee Who wanted to get to Glasgow for free. He stood by the side of the road. No ride! He wept even though he showed his bare knee.
Two sparrows were frolicking in a footbath Thinking that it was their own private birdbath. Along came a peregrine, A bird of prey, decidedly keen - Who turned the scene in a bloodbath.
When I was looking for rhymes with bath I came upon “Bundesrath” in a rhyming dictionary. There are two things wrong with that listing. For one, the normal spelling is “Bundesrat”, writing “Rat” like “Rath” is very ancient and predates the German second chamber (aka “Bundesrat”) by something like 150 years. But the th would never be pronounced anyway. So here goes my second limerick:
A journalist reporting from Bath talked extensively about the Bundesrath. My teutonic feelings were stirred! How could he pronounce this word With a th? That’s clearly the sign of sociopath.
A stuck-up vegetable styled itself as a Brussel sprout, And claimed to be Belgian - but there was some doubt. When challenged it shouted: “So you think I’m German? Tarnation, you turnip, just call me Hermann. I cannot deny it: YES! I am a Kraut.”
Disclaimer: For my protection I like to emphasise the featured vegetable is not the sprout in question but a bunch of kohlrabi.
He leaned forward as he was planning to kiss her. He bent his head, aimed and miss- ed her. But undeterred He bent further and erred again. “Get lost!” she snarled with a hiss.
When Robert Aramayo in this -“BITCH OF!” - a movie was cast As a man with Tourette’s he was – “WANKER!” - aghast. He had to show tics and – “SPUNK FOR MILK!” - to swear a lot. But - “I SELL DRUGS!” – he gave it a shot. Then he received the BAFTA, this year – “what a c**!” - unsurpassed.
It’s a truly inspiring and also funny movie about the real John Davidson, a man with and an advocate for people with Tourette’s syndrome. Last night a very surprised Robert Aramayo received the BAFTA for leading actor ahead of Leonardo di Caprio and Ethan Hawke. The irony is that the real John Davidson was in the audience and shouted a few obscenities during the evening and also the n* word when two black actors were on stage. But while the audience had grinned and accepted his “f** the queen” in the movie (and presumably real life) as an expression of his neurological disorder they drew the line at the racial slur. Mr Davidson is mortified but many people are apparently not accepting his apology. What hypocritical standards!
There once was a young man who wasn’t dimAnd lived in Harare in the middle of Zim.He spoke four languages and he could signbut didn’t know what to do with his time.So he learned to speak Shona just on a whim. for Laughing Along with … Continue reading Full of Vim